Homecoming

I was at a meeting for one of the ministries at our church last night and there was mention of having a homecoming sometime this summer. It will be our 152nd year as an Episcopal parish, one of the oldest churches in Rock Hill. I almost cringed when I heard that word, homecoming. For me it can mean everything from torturous dances and football games at high school, to funerals, to returning to your place of birth.

I sat with the feelings for a bit. I let the anxiety of not being chosen for a dance, the exclusion of not being asked to the game, the sadness of a deep south funeral, and that lingering feeling of, “I just don’t belong here anymore.”

Hello, anxiety, my longest running friend, what do you think about homecoming? A surprising answer came to me. Ok, it surprised me given the feelings, but it may not have surprised you. LOL! I thought about it in the context of yoga. What can homecoming mean in our yoga practice? This thought took me down the path of deep joy. Not the effervescent joy that oozes out of my pores sometimes in a yoga class. You’ve seen me breaking out into a giggle or full laughter during a sequence. That joy is delight at being able to do a pose or the absurdity of even mentioning we should end class with urdvha dhanurasana (upward bow pose).

The joy that washed over me was the joy of coming home to our body, ourselves. I’ve said it in class, and I’ll repeat myself here; I believe if we are willing to get back in touch with our body, we will discover the peace that will heal the world. When we move with intention, when we breathe throughout our body, we reconnect meridian points and energy conduits that knit our wholeness back together.

The outside world is a harsh place, and it tries all day long to cut us off from our Center, or Source. These cuts fragment our identity and undermine our confidence. I recently encountered this experience when a person close to me told a lie that was harmful to me and others. And later in the day someone insinuated disrespect from me. Then the afternoon was topped off with emails and texts of caustic gossip surrounding an incident. Stooooopppp. I just wanted it all to STOP!

So, I went to the only solace I could think of at the time, my breath. I asked myself, “What do you need right now?” “I need to move my body”, I replied. I wanted to run away. I even told Terry I wanted to get on the sidewalk and run until I passed out. Ok, he did look at me weirdly because he and I both know that was not going to happen! But I was serious; overwhelm was taking over that much.

What I really needed was to get on my mat. So, I did. I got on my mat and moved through sequences and held poses and practiced pranayama. I didn’t let the hurt find a place to land, not in my belly, not in my shoulders, not in my heart. I moved, I fought, I protected, I processed. I came home. Home to the place that is always there for me, my body.

It was a beautiful homecoming and a journey I will gladly take again. Join me on the mat and we will go home together.