Lenses

For at least a year my husband, Terry, had been saying he needed to go to the eye doctor. He would mention it, to which I would reply, “Okie dokie, go make the appointment.” But he wouldn’t. Maybe a month later he would make the same comment, and I would make the same reply.

This went on forever…. or maybe a few months, I don’t remember, but it was a long time.

He would have a minimum of three pairs of glasses everywhere he went. There were the menu reading glasses, the computer glasses, the driving glasses, and the ‘seeing glasses’ (I never figured out what those were). Almost every conversation had to start with me asking, “Do you have on your computer glasses to look at this?” or if we were at a restaurant, “Did you bring your menu glasses?”

He made a comment one time that stuck with me, and I just kept rolling it around in my head because somehow, I knew there was a yogic theory in it, “When I use these glasses, I see it this way (whatever he was looking at) but when I use these glasses I see it differently.”

Um, what?

You know, he is very right. When we look at a situation with one set of lenses, we see possibilities of conflict and drama but if we use lenses that are more appropriate, we see opportunities of compassion and grace. I think when we are confronted with a new anything, maybe a member of a group, a candidate on a ballot, or a new CEO at our job the first thing we do is to look at it through the eyes of our own past. If we have an advanced education, we look at a new member of a group for their education level. If we are a parent we use a familial lens, if we are in poor health we look at it through the eyes of our ailment. If we are a yoga instructor, we look through lenses of breath, movement, and spirituality. Just sayin… as I point a finger directly at my chest.

Many times, what we are trying to do is to either find the common ground or where the threat could be. Are we looking through the lenses of analysis or judgement? I had this conversation with a friend the other day. (Hmmm, seems like I have a lot of conversations that turn out to be blogs, huh? LOL!) I lamented to her that sometimes I feel so judgmental. Everything is one extreme or the other. Life is black or white. It either is or it isn’t. She laughed and said she didn’t see me that way, she saw me as more analytical. “I don’t see you as judgmental at all. I see you as analyzing a situation for its good or evil. Judgement is final, it’s sealed up in a box and on the shelf. Analysis allows for nurturing, growth, and engagement. I’ve always seen you to take people and situations under your wing and nudge them in a different direction, you might drive them crazy trying to get them on the yoga mat, but you’ve never given up on someone, even when you should.” We both laughed at that last part. Yep, she knows me well.

How many pairs of lenses do you have within arm’s reach that you pick up and view life through? Maybe if we put all those down and only used the lenses of the heart, we just might be able to come together. Consider when an opportunity comes up and you recognize judgement in your blood and not analysis, put on another pair of lenses. You don’t have to walk a mile in their shoes, you just need new lenses. Get the beautiful ones.